“This is just another time my pencil touches the paper
And just another time my heart pours out on this page,
Just another time I trust everyone with my deep feelings
And another time for me to forget about rage.”

This time it’s for love and not for the pain
Cause I can’t think of that, not when I’m this sane,
I feel so alive unlike when I lied, unlike when I cried,
All of the pain and regret I held onto fades away.

Now after so many nights of fighting for my heart
In more ways than just that small number one,
I finally have it in my hands, I feel love for myself
And I feel love for every moment I can spend with you soon.

I have my heart in my chest, guarded at last
And I don’t plan on revealing it, not too fast,
I will hide it away until a brighter day when we can smile
Then I will release it and go the extra mile.

The deepest feeling in my heart right now
Belongs to one special person, one special girl,
Now that my heart belongs to me I feel safe
From everything that could have kept me from you,
Everything that could have stopped how I feel today.

“This is just another time my pencil touches the paper
And just another time my heart escapes from its cage,
Just another time I trust myself to take care of my heart
And the first time I will fall in love with you, Paige.”

All of a sudden I get these flashbacks
From the first time I ever laid my eyes on you,
I remember the smell in the air,
Not even knowing what would happen soon
I knew you would be one in my life; so rare.

Your hair flowed like a chocolate sea
Looking over and glancing at me,
Smiling and waving
As I blush and hide
You had no idea
You stayed in my mind.

I was too shy
To come at all close to you,
I would try to say hi
But no matter how hard I tried
I would always be
The quiet shy guy.

But one day it happened to me
You came and sat in the very next seat,
That was the day I truly knew
True friends were made
I always knew it was you.

Over time the friendship grew
It was nothing that I ever knew,
I started to feel
As if it weren't real
An imagination that I could possibly feel.

I started to love what would not love me
Looking back that's what I see,
A gift a rose a smile to be
Never came,
It was hard for me.

I was starting to express my love,
Slowly but surely we began to hug,
I thought you started to love me back
But it was never true
You told me the opposite in fact.

From that moment on
I've carried a hole
Within my heart,
Never being able
To let love start.

I always wanted just one kiss
Just to know how you felt,
I shot to do it only once
But you pulled away
I was a dunce.

But one lonely day
I felt a tap,
I turn around and you were there,
I still remember the smell of your hair,
You closed your eyes and came to me
You kissed my cheek and began to flee.

I felt a fire within my heart
Another flame began to start,
And one day together I began to feel
It was my time
To make this real.

I kissed your head and I looked at you
I could tell you thought this was too new
I said I was sorry and went along,
My heart felt broken
For oh so long.

I kept my distance from that point on
Gazing at you for a distance long,
I was afraid you would be
Another heart that would have to soon
Eventually escape from me.

But one day I changed
And my thoughts became rearranged,
My love for you became too strong
And being away for more than ten minutes
Was way too incredibly long.

You needed to tell me
That there wasn't a flame
And that this friendship
To my sadness,
Would always be the same.

I wanted to plead and say I love you
But you wanted nothing to do with what I had to give,
With a flick of your wrist
I was gone but I did resist
Leaving a trail of hearts black abyss.

I wanted to make things better
But in my eyes it only became worse,
I was beginning to think it would never be
That you and I
Could erase the remorse.

Why couldn't you have given it a chance
It could have been something great,
But we are beginning to enhance
And the thought of us
Is far too late.

We've grown into a pair
That will never split apart,
I always thought it wasn't fare
To be exited from the one thing
That I've always wanted
And that one thing is your heart.

But now you see what it truly means
To have my heart in your hands,
You said you loved me
Now it's said and done,
Our love has finally grown its wings
And we will fly together
Hand in hand,
Just you and me.

Turning over while laying in bed
Trying to remember what she said,
The beast that cried out from the night
That called me in to blind my sight.

Her beauty was amazing
Her hair red and blazing,
Eyes as green as the Caribbean Sea
And smile that was white and pearly.

She sang that one tune
The one of the crescent moon,
She sang it in the dead of night
While in the moons dreary light.

Come to me she sang
So beautiful it rang,
Her voice still echoes in my head
While I lay here in my bed.

I fall to sleep
And remember her eyes,
They glowed from the moon and she knew
That I would gaze right into them.

She told me to come to her
And that I should kiss her sweetly,
With lips so soft and eyes so sleek
Looking up to her before I could I think.

She caught my eye and took control
Then sang her song with a tone so cruel,
Her eyes became sad and her song became angry
So sad because her nature had scared me.

She cries a tear that stains the floor,
So I try to make her sing once more
While I hold her in my arms,
And we sit there…
Hours alone together underneath these stars.

I need to jump off the bridge of clouds onto the ground of sound
Into a state of mind which is inescapable,
This way I can flee from the prison of insanity
Which condemns me to the sky of fear.

…"Nobody will ever let you know
When you ask the reasons why,
They just tell you that you're on your own
Filling your head full of lies."…

Confusion builds behind their eyes
Clouding what they could have seen,
What is this coming to?
What have they lost this time?

They lost all that they cared about
And they think they've lost their mind,
The child has lost its faith
And they feel so incredibly blind.

Lies and cuts push to the surface
Making an innocent child's face look sick,
They look at you bawling their eyes out
And you see the pain in their bloody tear.

What could have possibly happened
To make something so pure
And innocent,
Become such a stranger?

Everything that happened to them made them afraid,
Everything that made them scared won't go away,
Every ounce of pain is building up behind their smile,
That poor little child grabs a blade.

"I wonder if I could feel more pain,
I wonder if this could compare,
I wonder how this will all come through
I wonder if I'll stop this one day."

That child tries to push all of the pain
And all of those throbbing scars
Right back down beneath the surface,
Right where they belong.

Every time they try the blood pours out
And they look up in doubt at the sky,
All of the sudden the thought of god fades,
And the child loses the urge to try.


They scream at the top of their lungs
Expecting to drop to the ground from exhaustion,
But it never happened,
So they run to hide from what is broken.

Sobbing and crying while everyone laughs
That child becomes suicidal so quick and perhaps
They could end it in the blink of an eye,
Not having to look back on the hurt or having to say goodbye.

Faced up on their bed they close their eyes
Blade in hand with a twisted smile,
They abruptly scream and start to cry,
WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO FUCKING DIE?

Please know I'm sorry
I know that you're hurting,
Please let this go,
Please know I'm falling,
Down into the lowest low
The one thing that you've always known
But never had the heart to show.

My eyes are drowning
And my heart is aching,
So please know that I'm aware
I can't see this ending,
I can't understand a thing
My heart is weakening,
It's coming a part too fast
And I can't stand the fact
That it's not going to last.

These hearts die beneath the sky
While these eyes drown under the tears,
Our minds cry, gazing through the window
And our sight blurs what we should know,
So hold on and sit tight
We have to survive this dreary night,
Again like before I have to grasp you
So I know you're safe and not alone,
Sing so I can hear you
Shake so I can feel you
Just be there, so I can see you.

Cries sound from under the steam
Caused by tears from a heated mind,
Another night of aching eyes,
It's killing me enough to see you cry,
So why can't this be over
So we both can live on and forget
What happened to make the stars regret
Shining their light overhead for us to see,
That I could find my self loving you
And you could see yourself loving me?

Our minds are breaking
And our hearts are shaking,
Quivering to the sound of just one beat,
It's not ending, these tears that flow
And I'm slowly dying now that I know,
Our hearts are tied, and our conscious is blind
Not letting us leave, no matter how hard we try,
Please know I'm scared
So please know I'm aware,
That you're in pain and your heart is crushed
That I can't cure your mind and my heart will bust,
All because I'm slipping away
Trying to grasp that one simple moment
That will happen on that mysterious day.

Too many friends
Write up their list,
The one with reasons for saying goodbye
Then they slit their wrists.

Too many friends
Buy a one way ticket,
But I promise you this,
I'll be with you until the end.

No more goodbyes
And no more stains,
No more red
Slipping down the drains.

It's time to stop
This cycle of pain,
And I hope it will not
Ever happen again.

Too many times
I've let you slip,
And too many times
I've caused that slit.

It hurts me to know
That you might just be
That one friend,
Who buys the ticket
To be away from me.

I'm reaching out with my hands
Expecting you my love to embrace me,
But when I close my hand and see that you
Have not yet grasped on,
It hurts.

With every time I open my hand
To this painful empty feeling,
It tears this hole in my heart open
Letting it fill in with sadness,
And letting it become deeper.

So I let my nails grow out
Not expecting for anyone to latch on,
Continuing to grasp this desolate air
I find my self falling down in despair,
But then I see you reaching out
To grab my lonely hand out from the dark,
But alas I cut you,
I lost the sense of caring,
My nails and my heart,
Have become too sharp for this hand to hold on.

She says,
Please don't leave
Stay next to me,
My son you must be brave
I have to set you free.
Please go live your life
Please remember me,
It's gonna get real hard
Oh son, soon you will see.

As I cry mom
I drift away,
You say that I'll be there
Another day,
And as you cry son
You drift away,
Afraid that I forgot
The things you used to say.

I say,
Why did you do this to me?
I can't stand to be away
My own mom has abandon me
And it breaks my heart as I fade away.
Mom can I please come home
I promise that I'll behave,
Please don't leave me here
Please let me come home,
Oh mom if you let me come home
I promise that I'll behave.

As I cry mom
I drift away,
Afraid that I forgot
The things you used to say.
As you cry son
I drift away,
Oh you say that I'll be home
Another day.
I drift away,
Away from home.
I miss you mom, I'll see you soon.