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Literature Text
Shining through the forsaken light
I struggle to find what is mine,
Something I lost so long before
Above the sky near the broken door.
I'm walking through the skies so high,
I fear that I will fade in time.
The world dies before my crimson eyes
As I try so hard to gain my sight,
I feel its time to say goodbye
Looking up at the forsaken skies.
I squint my eyes 'cause it's so bright,
I look away with a grieving sigh.
I look at you
Now you look at me,
The plethora of clouds are meant to be.
The stars are here
They will shine on me,
I'll be in heaven
While you search for me.
I struggle to find what is mine,
Something I lost so long before
Above the sky near the broken door.
I'm walking through the skies so high,
I fear that I will fade in time.
The world dies before my crimson eyes
As I try so hard to gain my sight,
I feel its time to say goodbye
Looking up at the forsaken skies.
I squint my eyes 'cause it's so bright,
I look away with a grieving sigh.
I look at you
Now you look at me,
The plethora of clouds are meant to be.
The stars are here
They will shine on me,
I'll be in heaven
While you search for me.
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Literature
Lost
Lost
in an empty world
without a meaning
that makes sense
Lost
in a filled world
that has a message
I don't understand
Lost
in a shadowed world
without any light
to guide me out
Lost
in a heartless world
where emotion is gone
since our farewell
Lost
in a cold world
where your heart
is beyond my reach
Lost
in a world
where I have to miss
the only one worth living for
Literature
lost.
Wandering,
waiting for your voice to
reach out for mine.
Fingertips of satin,
caressing the confines of my
soul;
whispering a thousand constellations to my waning sanity.
Promises upon promises,
mosaic labyrinths etched into mutilated
flesh.
Trembling lips — July's blasphemous sun
lingering above December's intangible moon,
and these looking-glass limbs scream for your
tongue to shatter me into one million
pieces.
Rose eyelashes; iron thorns and liquid petals
flutter open to the dull luster of our
salt-licked sarcophagus—
and in the end, your nebula fades away
in the disintegrating morning, just like my [heart] broken
heart.
Literature
What if I don't believe this bullshit?
Baby...
May I ask you something?
If I...
If I told you of my secrets, my worries
wouldn't you listen, wouldn't you help me?
If I...
If I hugged you tight and never wanted to let go
would you seriously look at me with disgrace?
If I...
If I kissed you
would you really push me away?
If I...
If I asked you to be mine
and mine only
Would you have the urge to say no?
If I...
If I told you I love you
Would you be able to look me in the eyes
and tell me
you don't love me too?
What if I don't think so?
What
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What can I say? XDDD
© 2012 - 2024 PassionateMasochist
Comments22
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Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
Vision:
The narrator seems to be on the edge of hopelessness, but is still trying hard to achieve whatever it is that he/she has lost.
Originality:
Originality is what drew me into this poem in the first place. I've never seen the phrase forsaken light before. It's interesting.
Technique:
I like the length of the stanzas. However, what did bother me is that you spelled 'while' wrong in the last line. Unless you did that on purpose - but I'm a Grammar Nazi, and that just ruined the flow of the poem for me.
Impact:
The first three lines immediately drew me in, which is wonderful. It's a little harder to grab someone's attention through poetry than prose, and you have succeeded in that.
Other Notes:
I really, really loved this poem <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/>